http://www.680news.com/news/local/article/151260--rob-ford-starts-first-day-as-mayor
"we're going to start building subways, and we're going to start right now."
First day Rob Ford calls a news conference and tells everyone the 'gravy train' of wasteful spending on planning and design is over. Subways are going to be built starting 'right now'. He goes up to Sheppard, points to a spot and tells workers to start digging a hole. He'll be back every day check on their progress.
To save money on issuing RFPs and evaluating bids for the TBMs, he has Doug order a couple off of Amazon with next day delivery, tying in the shipping with a load of glue to the family label factory, thereby getting further efficiencies for the Toronto taxpayer.
Two days later, due to lack of design studies, the TBMs plow through local gas and water mains, leaving dozens without heat or water. Mayor Ford, referring to the upset residents: "My heart bleeds for them, but at the end of the day it's their own damn fault. I've got a mandate."
Not impressed with the progress of the construction, Mayor Ford vows to cut the waste and squeeze efficiencies from the crews, promising to cut their staff by 3% every week until they shape up.
The following week, having not done planning on the tunneled route, the diggers hit a large patch of loose sand, causing a cave-in that kills four workers.
Realizing he can kill two birds with one stone, Mayor Ford fires the remaining workers and contracts out the digging to a squad of ground hogs, saving the city millions in salary costs (plus the hassle of having to deal with employment standards laws) while showing he cares about the environment and providing a livable wage to the city's wildlife.
Due to their lack of formal experience and inability to take instructions given to them in English from a guy yelling football plays down the hole, the ground hogs veer the tunnel off from under Sheppard and beneath nearby houses, causing them to collapse into sink holes.
Seeing the opportunity, Mayor Ford expropriates the land, paves over the rubble and declares victory in finally getting respect for the car by opening a brand new expressway.