Rob Ford's Toronto

[casita]

Merry Crackmas everyone!

Sheer poetry. Thank-you.

 

[sno man]

Ah! I used the most recently-posted one to build upon. I guess this has been forked now.

my Domo add was dropped a few ago now, don't sweat it. I'm not.

 

[sno man]

Merry Crackmas everyone!

'Twas the night before Crackmas, and on Windsor Drive,
Rob Ford was post-tripping, just barely alive;
The envelopes were stashed in the bathroom with care,
In hopes that St. Dixonblood soon would be there;

The Bassos were cowering under their beds,
While large men with black batons bashed on their heads;
And Sandro in his Escalade, with Rob's phone on his lap,
Had just threatened Dixon Road out of their crap.

When down in the den there arose such a clatter,
Rob rolled off the couch and emptied his bladder.
Away to the bathroom he couldn't stop trippin',
Yanked open the shitter and threw up jerk chicken.

His eyes -- they were glassy! his demeanor how petty!
His teeth were like gravel, his forehead all sweaty!
His thin little mouth was still speaking too slow,
And the coke up his nose was as white as the snow.

He picked up his pipe, lit a flame underneath,
And the crack smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a distended gut,
That shook, when he laughed like a Jabba the Hutt.

He crawled to his car, quick mouthwash for a rinse,
And away Robbie drove, pounding back Russian Prince.
But I heard him exclaim, as he ran over some bikes,
Happy Crackmas to all, you wops dagos and kikes!

Awesome.

 

[newearthling]

Merry Crackmas everyone!

I sang it to this tune:
[video=youtube;6TaQPg10OmA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TaQPg10OmA[/video]

 

[voxpopulicosmicum]

Needs to be read by Malcolm McDowell sitting hearthside with pipe and slippers.

 

[vic]

What about that brown montster thing that was in the background of one of them?And we need Doug too!

Doug has flown in for the occasion.

 

[casita]

I sang it to this tune:

Can't do better than Rosemary Clooney and Gene Autry.

Trivia: Gene Autry is still the only person to have all five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

 

[Yaitsme]

Doug has flown in for the occasion.

This makes me so happy

 

[ParkdalePetunia]

damn, just saw the one with Doug. give me a minute, I'll catch up. Caught up.

 

[Kat_YYZ]

some evidence that Ford uses email

response fail before he was mayor (Aug 2010):
http://www.thestar.com/news/city_hall/2010/08/26/yours_vaguely_rob_ford.html

Sarah Thomson email to Rob Ford March 2013 (I figure she wouldn't send him email if he doesn't use it, but who knows?)
http://www.torontosun.com/2013/03/11/sarah-thomson-email-to-rob-ford-rude-and-disrespectful-holyday

response to a critic in November 2013, with typo:
https://www.facebook.com/gailmcinne...ffset=0&total_comments=7&notif_t=feed_comment

 

[DTGeek]

The responses to constituents could easily have been sent by some staffer or unpaid intern no? And the email from Thompson could have been printed out for him by a staffer.

 

[Kat_YYZ]

The responses to constituents could easily have been sent by some staffer or unpaid intern no? And the email from Thompson could have been printed out for him by a staffer.

well it's likely that his answers are formulated by staffers. But I find it hard to believe that he never ever ever uses a computer. Not even to check some sports scores or something? Just seems too extreme.

 

[evvabeing]

i think FOI requests should be filed for other time periods too... to see if rob just never goes on the internet, or if the internet records for may 1st to august 6th 2013 are an anomaly, or even deleted.

 

[Kat_YYZ]

So Mammoliti says he resigned from the Executive Committee (Nov 2012) because he and Ford had a blow-up in which Mammo tried to get him to go to rehab at that time, and Ford said no. He says Ford admitted to being a "binger" but claimed he wasn't an addict.

http://globalnews.ca/video/1304218/...son-he-resigned-from-the-executive-committee/

 

[sublime]

i think FOI requests should be filed for other time periods too... to see if rob just never goes on the internet, or if the internet records for may 1st to august 6th 2013 are an anomaly, or even deleted.

Nice catch.