Pam McConnell is LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!
“I’m lucky to be alive,†she sighs, two weeks after her near-death experience in city council chambers.
Oh, Pammy, Pammy, Pammy.
Cue the telethon.
Unless you’ve been in a coma or Ottawa, you know of Councillor McConnnell’s encounter with Mayor Raging Bull during the Chamber of Horrors incident Nov. 18.
Rob Ford, rampaging to the aid of belligerent brother Doug, who was in a screaming match with the public gallery, blundered into grandma Pammy.
The collision was described breathlessly by us media maggots, including the CBC, whose ringside reporter exclaimed, “Oh, my God, he’s ATTACKED somebody ... he ran at her and GRABBED her.â€
But the video clearly shows it was an accident. Ford did not see wee Pam until the last second and he cradled her as she sagged backwards. Watch the video, you’ll see what I mean.
Mostly, the episode was careless and ungentlemanly, especially Ford’s hesitation to apologize afterward. Let’s face it, Rob has a boorish streak as wide as Etobicoke Creek. And Pam has that knack for the hand-wringing common among lefties. But...
LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!?
A survivor of a terrible disease is lucky to be alive.
The British parachutist who fell 15,000 feet and landed in a blackberry bush is lucky to be alive. Luckier than that blackberry bush.
The Apollo 13 crew was lucky to be alive. Captain Bligh, after 47 days adrift, was lucky to be alive.
Frank Selak, the Croatian music teacher who survived an airliner crash, a train wreck, a bus tragedy, two car fires and five marriages before winning a million-dollar lottery and was dubbed the World’s Luckiest Man by the UK’s Telegraph is most definitely LUCKY TO BE ALIVE.
“I am LUCKY TO BE ALIVE,†said Elton John, who had appendicitis last summer. Hmmm. Lucky to have concert cancellation insurance.
“I am LUCKY TO BE ALIVE,†said Glee star Cory Monteith, in 2011, referring to his history with drugs. Monteith, from B.C., died four months ago.
“I’m LUCKY TO BE ALIVE,†supermodel Sophie Anderton said of her cocaine past. Lucky to be 32C-24-35 with rivetting green eyes, you might say.
“I’m LUCKY TO BE ALIVE,†mused golf comedian David Feherty, after being clobbered by a pickup truck while cycling. Well, lucky it didn’t leave him with a hook.
Lucky to be alive? Did your life flash before your eyes? Did you leave your body and watch it all unfold below you?
Well, you may be a victim, all right. You may be dangerously hyperbolic.
Pam McConnell? She’s lucky to have a job involving taking people’s money against their will and using it to meddle in their lives.
And she is lucky our new society of victimhood allows her not only to be LUCKY TO BE ALIVE, but to ponder suing Mayor Mayhem.
“I’m looking at all the options to see what is available,†she tells our Terry Davidson. “At the moment, I have a report being done by security, and I’ve asked that the integrity commissioner look at that ... I’m not ruling out anything at the moment.
“I’ve spent a lot of time with chiropractors and massage therapists ... and certainly I’ve been battling with headaches. But, in general, I’m LUCKY TO BE ALIVE, and I’m very thankful I haven’t stopped my work.â€
We’re all grateful, plucky Pam, and, please, enjoy your new condo in Regent Park.
Finally, as readers have been heard to declare after surviving one of my columns: “I’m LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!
Strobel’s city column runs Monday to Thursday.
mike.strobel@sunmedia.ca
I really am lucky to be alive, with folks like those listed here, recent donors to my Christmas Fund for Variety Village. Want to join them and perhaps win some fantastic prizes to boot? See Page 43 of Monday's Toronto Sun for details, or donate online at sunchristmasfund.ca. Do it, and your life will flash before your eyes — in a good way.
Renee D. Sheldon, Pickering $25
John Boros, Markham $25
Brian Heaton, Oshawa $25
Ross Peacock, Barrie $10
Helen Desjardins, Oshawa $20
Ralph Pawley, Courtice $25
Marianne M. Meinel, Scarborough $25
Thayer Bouck, Fonthill $50
Timothy Crowley, Toronto $30
Joyce Rennick, Barrie $15
Darlene House, Trenton $20
Carol E. Jones, Scarborough $50
Brian G. Gonzales, Scarborough $50
David G. Saville, Ajax $30
Joyce May, Brampton $150
Ruth S. Berg, Toronto $25
John Keenan, Mississauga $250
Roland Bahler, Ajax $50
Bonnie Finch, Clinton $25
Frank Smith, Toronto $25
Patricia Paolini, Etobicoke $25
Jeanne Colvin, Markham $25
Frank Devine, Scarborough $50
Janet E. Lumb, Toronto $100
Gigi Merek, Toronto $50
Deborah Ufnal, Oshawa $50
Michael Trigiani, Etobicoke $25
Tom Beavis, Campbellford $100
Birkdale Seniors, Scarborough $100
John Hill, Oshawa $10
Total: $1,460
To date: $4,216