I start each day off by hang gliding from the top of the Scarborough Bluffs, and landing at Tommy Thompson Park. From there, I swim into and across the inner harbour (butterfly stroke), and exit the water via a ladder at the back of Captain John's boat. Once I step foot on land, I then flag down a squeegee kid and get him to dry me off (I carry a Shamwow in my pocket in case I need a backup plan). After drying off, I then cartwheel and barrel roll my way to Toronto North Station, where I hop onto a moving boxcar on the CPR. I vacate the train at the top of the steel truss bridge in Charles Sauriol Conservation Area and rappel down, using my shoelaces and snakeskin belt. By this time I'm usually pretty thirsty, so I whip out my empty cantine (a Newman's Own container) and fill it with water from the Don River, and add in a couple of Reese peanut butter cups to really quench my thirst. Next, I head northbound along the trail to the old Don Mills ski hill. From here, I latch onto the old ski lift poles with some reeds and pull myself up the bank of the ravine. After exiting the valley, I make my way out to Lawrence Ave E. At this time I call my chauffeur, who drives me to the unemployment office.
The entire commute takes about 4 minutes and 27 seconds.