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Rob Ford's Toronto

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NormEron said:
I've secretly fantasized about running for mayor on a "Hyperbole" platform as a "better" version of Ford for ford nation just to point out how ridiculous his claims are.

Stuff like:

- Folks, Rob's only saved you a billion dollars... I'll save you a TRILLION!
- and screw subways, and screw traffic gridlock. With me as your mayor, you'll all get helicopters to fly you to and fro. It's all about helicopters folks, Helicopters, helicopters, helicopters!
- I've spoken to the private sector, and they're just chomping at the bit to pay for your helicopters.
- While I'm at it you're all gettin' cranes too. The sky will be filled with cranes and helicopters!
- I have a proven track record of delivering on all of my promises, and those of others!
- I'll clean up the mess that Rob's left at City Hall. You'll never pay taxes again!
- I'm not going to contract out your garbage collection, I'm gonna make those lazy garbage workers pay for their strikes and make em work like Asian dogs!
- I'll cancel the pride parade and drive every LGBTQWERTY out of town! Minorities too!
- I know how to run a business cuz my dad started a business and gave me an office to sit in with a desk and everything.
- I answer all of my phone calls, and I'll drive right over to your house to flush the toilet if that's what you need doing... even if I'm drunk off my ass, which I often am, I'll still drive over there! I'll even read the newspaper, and flip off every kid I see on the way.
- When I get home, I'll beat my whole family to a bloody pulp! Cuz I'm an every man.
- They don't have enough cops to follow me around. Much less my drug dealer!

Please note that the above is my interpretation of what Ford Nation wants and not in any way my real opinion on civic matters.
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This is great. Very funny. (Well, except for the beating part) Someone should turn this into a YouTube Video and linkbait it to the Ford Nation subscribers.
 
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West of Spadina said:
:)
I'd rather see Columbo nail him. "Uh, Mr. Ford sir ... Just one more thing ..."

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I liked when he played probably the most famous "rat" who ever lived and died in Murder Inc. "The Canary Who Could Sing, But Couldn't Fly." Peter Falk's character "fell" out of a hotel window before he could testify.
 
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Honest Ed has a posse said:
He looks refreshed
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Is that a stain on his shirt, or just shadows? You know when he has stains that he's wasted. Maybe he's going to go an epic bender this weekend? I'm guessing his bail will include a no drugs or alcohol condition, so he's having one last kick at the can ala Hangover?
 
Looks to me like sweat around his left bosom, which for some reason seems to happen to him when he's drunk or on something.
 
ROFOMOFO said:
Exactly!

One thing all interviewers know is Rub and Tug are going to go to their stock answers so deep questions are useless.

I think they should go all absurd on him like "can you do your drunk driving impression or how about some steak queen jamaican ranting, those are really popular with your constituents".

For Doug "When you said Rub was the most honest mayor can you cite other mayors who have lied about their crack use and being hammered at city functions".

Treat the both of them like the sideshows they are and eventually they will explode in anger.
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But maybe the onus on this shouldn't be so disproportionately upon reporters and "the media" per se--what about *people* doing it, as a guerrilla act of sort. (Of course, that may take somebody willing to take the risk of being throttled a la Bill Clennett or worse)
 
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