Rob Ford's Toronto

[penelope_sch]

.....So yeah, whenever I make the mistake of feeling a twinge of pity for Rob Ford, all I have to do is remember the lives he's impacted because of his actions and substance abuse. He could have told his mom and brother at any time that he had problems or that he didn't want to be mayor, but he didn't. His entire family shares some of the blame but the bottom line is, it's on him.

+1000

 

[Dubster]

Not to be curt but much of this is complete speculation about Ford's inner mental states without sufficient information. We don't really know what's going on with Ford in his head. At all.

 

[pud99]

See page 18 of the Froese report scroll down to paragraph 3.22....."campaign related credit card"....surmise what you will....

Thanks. It refers to "Deco's" (not Rob's) credit card, and to campaign expenses charged to that card that were reimbursed to Deco, as part of the Fords using Deco as an improper source of financing for the campaign during the time before the TD Bank line of credit was arranged. That does not support a suggestion that Deco is paying for the gasoline for the Escalade.

 

[joethelion]

I'm not quite as resolute as Honest Ed has a posse and EagleEye in their condemnation of Ford the person. That doesn't mean that I, or anyone else who feels a smidge of sympathy for him is adopting a weak view of what Ford has become, but I do recognize that alcoholism is a terrible condition (I dislike the word "disease"). Ford is self-medicating big time and I have to ask myself why he does that? What pain is he trying to squash?

Feeling sympathy for someone as a broken person doesn't suggest that he should be treated lightly for all he does. For drinking and driving alone, he should be in prison. He's a danger to others. He makes horrible decisions and he deflects blame. These are not admirable qualities. But, I think he has spent a lifetime trying to measure up in a hyper-ambitious family. He's a normal dolt of a man with average intelligence (not to be confused with an "everyman") who, if he wasn't constantly trying to live up to the expectations of his over-achieving father and his hyper-competitive brothers; the closest of these being a belligerent bully, might have just lived out his life as a husband and father in suburbia without much fanfare. His passion is clearly football - not academics or politics but when he began to receive accolades from grateful constituents for helping them out, I believe it fired up his deep-rooted need to be accepted. Why does Ford think his job is to respond personally to public complaints? Anyone who aspires to be the top dog in a profession doesn't do it so they can handle the tasks which can be delegated to employees. They do it because they don't have to do those things. yet there he is, still calling constituents who complain about potholes and burned out street lights. He clearly craves adulation and he has convinced himself that people who stop him for selfies are friends, not foes. He hasn't enough self-awareness to know the difference. That too is very sad.

As for his dishonesty. I think that was years in the making. When someone you look up to does not approve of who you are, lying is the go-to response. Why tell the truth if it always met with scorn?

I don't think Ford is a big-time drug dealer. I think he's a customer who might deal a little to support his habit independent of his trust fund. The fact that he has gone to his office to drink alone is very telling. It's probable that his wife and children have had enough of his drunkenness and have told him not to drink at home. He becomes bold and agitated when the drinks and tends to act out the things he wishes were true about himself - propositioning women, pretending he's a tough guy, being the Mayor. He's living in the shadows which is a lonely place to be. The fact that he is a pudgy-pasty-white guy who knows jamaican slang is also indicative of someone who is trying to fit even if he has to pound a square peg in a round hole. Nobody finds that sad? He gets a receptive audience at city housing and at nightclubs that young people frequent so he shows up to these places as often as he can to maintain the fantasy. Again - very very sad.

Further I'm willing to bet that both Doug and Randy are the real criminals in that family. The Globe and mail story of Doug's hash dealing days and the multiple arrests for Randy and a family criminal lawyer on retainer certainly suggests a long history of trouble in that family. Sister Kathy seems to be most like Rob, both under-achievers, both drug addicts, attracted to and trusting of nefarious characters, but if his father is a traditional man of his generation, he did not expect much for the daughter beyond marriage and kids and instead concentrated his ambitions on his three sons. Kathy gets a pass, Rob must succeed.

Don't get me wrong. I think Ford is a pathetic human being who has not cared much about what he's done to others. I despise the fact that he does not learn the job he is paid to do. He's whiny, spoiled, dishonest, arrogant and entitled but I don't think he started out in life that way and I don't think he likes himself. Unlike Doug who seems quite proud of who he is, Rob carries a glint of shame in his eyes. There are still hints of his little Robbie Ford personality under that boorish surface and the people who like him are able to see it. They see a kinder man than the one his detractors do. They see a man who's loyal to his friends, not a rat. They recognise in him something that's familiar and they all say the same thing "I can't help it but I kind of like the guy". He's broken. He's near rock bottom. And he appeals to people who feel like life is one big struggle. People are more intuitive than we would like to believe and they see something good in Rob and will ignore the rest so long as they are convinced he is redeemable.

I would hate to be a fly on the wall in the Ford home when he was growing up. I'll betcha dollars to donuts he was one lonely, bullied and mistreated kid and most of his bravado today is nothing more than a protection mechanism. And despite the fact that I want this man and his goon squad out of office, I will feel a little sympathy when he loses the election. His reaction could be heartbreaking and I worry that it might be the end of him.

What a well written, eloquent and insightful post. Completely agree.

 

[zang]

The psychology at work here is legitimately fascinating. I don't think you have to excuse Rob Ford to either pity him or hope he gets help. In fact, I've long thought that some of the people here and elsewhere who hate him most were, ironically, caring more about him than enablers like Doug who would work him into the grave in an effort to preserve the family brand.

Exactly. Some of us have experienced similar issues within our own families.

Ford is completely a victim—of a really lousy family. Ford is not a victim of his own machinations (except perhaps in a tragic way). I think if Ford were part of a more normal family, he'd never have run for mayor. I think those larger political aspirations are a response to the disdain his family has for being normal (or more likely, considered trashy), as well as the mythos of the family's political "legacy". He'd probably have been happy to live off the family trust and coach a few sports teams until the day he died.

He's a lousy mayor because he really doesn't want the job; probably never really did in his heart-of-hearts. But again, he's got so much guilt in trying to live up to the expectations of the family that he does whatever it takes to please them, regardless of how empty it makes him feel inside.

Ford is a sad, sad man. Internally depressed and simultaneously self-medicating and acting out. This is why I don't think Rob is a sociopath as many have suggested; he's too ruled by his emotions. He's a messed up, wreck of a human being, and at least some of that responsibility lies on his family. If he weren't always expected to live up to unrealistic, grand ideas, he'd feel better about himself in general. Hey, he coached the football team that won the City Bowl. For the average joe, this might've been one of the proudest moments they'd have in their lives; a "big win" that the family talked about at thanksgiving for the next 30 years. But within the Ford Family, it's just a distraction that takes away from the prophecy of the Ford name being held aloft in the sky and heralded as the big-C conservative Second Coming.


But as much as I pity Ford, he is an adult and is as responsible for accepting his issues and getting help as he is hanging out with gang bangers and other illegal actions. He routinely squanders public trust as a politician and a citizen. For that he needs to be removed from office and society (i.e.; jail).

Hate the actions, not the man.

 

[AlvinofDiaspar]

As interesting as his psyche might be (thanks anne), at this point the priority really should be getting rid of him through whatever means necessary. The roadshow has gone on long enough.

AoD

 

[basic]

Not to be curt but much of this is complete speculation about Ford's inner mental states without sufficient information. We don't really know what's going on with Ford in his head. At all.

Thanks for the tip.

 

[PinkLucy]

Not to be curt but much of this is complete speculation about Ford's inner mental states without sufficient information. We don't really know what's going on with Ford in his head. At all.

I'd say not much goes on in his head.

And this

As interesting as his psyche might be, at this point the priority really should be getting rid of him through whatever means necessary. The roadshow has gone on long enough.

 

[casita]

The youngest was the second son. He ran the business like a champ for 20 years but it was dying through the simple fact of progress. He kept it running and many people employed long past when he should have bailed. He's lost a lot of time with his wife and kids in the process.

I do not mean your family, or the Fords, but that reminds of "The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" with Gregory Peck.

There is the man – like the Boss – with the pioneering spirit, who works night and day creating companies, getting rich, making things happen. But the downside is that he will be alone. And there is the other type of man who, in order to have a happy family life, works only from nine to five, so to spend more time with his Family.

 

[Greg Banks]

Thanks. It refers to "Deco's" (not Rob's) credit card, and to campaign expenses charged to that card that were reimbursed to Deco, as part of the Fords using Deco as an improper source of financing for the campaign during the time before the TD Bank line of credit was arranged. That does not support a suggestion that Deco is paying for the gasoline for the Escalade.

And therein is the corundrum...it is stated R Ford is submitting a "monthly expense sreadsheet" during his Mayoralty campaign...by extension does that mean he was submitting "spreadsheets" during his time as Councillor and if so is there any reason to believe his modus operendi has changed since becoming mayor? You look at his lack of expenses charged to the City in TMMIS would suggest one of two things either R Ford pays for everything out of pocket on a personal basis or he in fact charges back to Deco through a spreadsheet...it is up to you to decide which scenario is more believable...

 

[Dubster]

Thanks for the tip.

Sorry but I just finding wading through twenty paras of pop psych over a person we know nothing about more than a little annoying.

 

[basic]

Fair enough, that's your opinion. There is alot of interest in the topic from others in this thread, though.

 

[Dubster]

Fair enough, that's your opinion. There is alot of interest in the topic from others in this thread, though.

Whereof we can't know, we should not speak.

 

[LowPolygon]

First, I was being "demeaning" but rather dismissive of your arguments. Second, do you know the meaning of the word "speech"? And, lastly Ford is making decisions as an adult since those decisions are affecting us all supporters, and non-supporters. I want a responsible government and Robbie has shown that he is not capable of being it's leader, period.

If you would like to lead an argument in a rational manner then you should leave the emotionalism in your bag.

Thank you for re-enforcing my statements.

No offense, but you're coming across as kind of a defensive jerk. Especially since you've treated the forum to your rather "out there" pseudo-Freudian musings on the meaning of 80-year old birds. Musings that have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with your purported focus on 'rational argument'.

Also, "leave the emotionalism in your bag"? What 'bag' would that be? The kind that you imagine women might carry when they are being "overly emotional"? Wow.

 

[SFO]

What a well written, eloquent and insightful post. Completely agree.

I do appreciate the efforts and sensitivity behind these long posts psychoanalyzing Rob Ford, but can we get real here? Maybe it'd help with perspective to put it in Fordian terms: he wants to be judged on his record and actions speak louder than words. So please think back to ALL his actions. Utterly selfish, shameless, corrupt, weaselly. A cheater and a liar with a diseased, disgusting mind. This man should be in jail right now and we all know it. I could give a shit that underneath it all he's just a scared little fat kid. If people want to make this about "humanity" and compassion, spend more time thinking about all the people he's hurt and continues to hurt.

ETA: Because you KNOW he's not thinking about those people, at all.