TORONTO, March 5 /CNW/ -
Crumbling Urban Toronto stock reinvigorated by tragedy.
In a bizarre twist, Urban Toronto's stock closed 34% higher today in heavy trading, after a large piece of reinforced concrete fell from the deck of the Gardiner Expressway, flattening a VW bus purported to be carrying a group of UT forumers with very high post counts. According to industry insiders, the loose alliance of erudite message board thugs in the van, had terrorized UT threads and maintained an effective stranglehold on UT bandwidth.
Business experts insist the forum may have turned a corner, and is now on the road to a full recovery as an open, democratic and welcoming meeting place for legitimate discussion of urban issues.
In related news, Mayor David Miller's office declined comment on any plans to repair the rupture in the expressway, saying only it would be deferred to the last quarter of 2007, at which time a public consultation may or may not take place.
An unnamed UT source suggested that "God had intervened at last to silence this group of self-important, picture posting forum dandies" who rarely stayed on topic and never proposed "
concrete solutions" to pressing urban challenges.
