Toronto's more than just a motto
Vinay Menon
"People in this city are so uptight."
It was a Friday evening and I was repairing at Proof The Vodka Bar, inside the Intercontinental on Bloor Street. Waiting for my wife, who works across the street at the Royal Ontario Museum, my ears oriented toward the conversation radiating from the mahogany bar.
Two young interlopers were perched on stools, laughing and cracking wise about our beloved city.
In town for the AC/DC concert, they communicated at a thunderstruck decibel level, pausing only to sip beers and flirt with the bemused female bartender.
After Dude No. 1 let fly with the "uptight" comment, Dude No. 2 nodded silently. Then he asked the bartender: "Why are people here always talking on their cellphones?"
One of the great things about drinking in a hotel is that, from time to time, you can eavesdrop on tourists and marvel at the disjointed, ephemeral and odd observations.
"The taxis here aren't all the same colour," a visitor might remark, clearly surprised. "And neither is the money!"
"We must travel on this four hundred and one highway tomorrow," a sightseer might say, glancing up from the pages of Fodor's. "Do you think there's time to go to Montreal for brunch before the Spamalot matinee?"
All of this is a rather circuitous way of entering today's discussion. Allow me now to reprint the headline and subhead from a story in the Sunday Star: "Wanted: World-class nickname for Toronto. For this city to market itself globally, it needs to find an identity that is easily understood."
Reading this story, and recalling the judgmental, half-soused dudes at the Intercontinental, I felt a surge of sympathy for the people tasked with promoting our city.
How do you accurately distill Toronto's personality into a nickname, slogan or catchphrase? How do you express our "core story" with a key message?
Over the years, let's see, Toronto has been known as "Hogtown," "The Big Smoke," "T-dot," and "T.O."
Recent tourist, marketing, ad campaigns or naming competitions have yielded unremarkable tag lines such as "World Within a City," "Live With Culture," and "Picture It Your Way".
"You Belong Here" was a post-SARS motto that somehow sounded like something you might hear after joining a cult.
Depending on your age, you may recall being encouraged to "Discover the Feeling!" This shouldn't have been difficult since "Toronto the Good" was also "Toronto the Exciting City."
In 2005, the brand "Toronto Unlimited" was unveiled, the culmination of a 13-month process that cost $4 million.
I mean, honestly.
I could have come up with "Toronto Infinity" or some such in one day and for 100 bucks.
The sad truth is, when politicians, marketers and pricey consultants join forces to brand a region, the results are usually embarrassing to locals.
No offence to the good people of Eagle Pass, Texas, but I'm not inspired to book a flight after hearing, "Where Yee-Ha Meets Olé." And why do I care if Baltimore is "The City That Reads" or if Lafayette is the "Third Oldest City in Oregon"?
Torontonians love to complain. So if you asked a random stranger to come up with a new slogan, you'd probably hear something like, "Toronto: Bring Your Own Plastic Bags." Or, "Toronto: Come For The Potholes, Stay For The Rush Hour." Or, "Toronto: No Chance of Getting Injured During a Stanley Cup Parade."
But leaving aside our whining, inferiority complex and identity crises, Toronto has much to offer. And it could offer so much more. Assuming, that is, the people in charge cared more about building a better city instead of coining a catchy nickname.
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