LiberalForLife
New Member
When our Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, announced that we would be taking in more Syrian refugees, I jumped for joy. I saw this as a golden opportunity to solidify our reputation as a peaceful loving and welcome nation that helps struggling people find a new home and become new Canadians. It was a refresher compared to the dark age under Stephen Harper. However in reality I admit that I am struggling in one particular case and was hoping if anybody on the forum could offer me some suggestions.
A family from Syria moved into our building after they were transferred from Nova Scotia. The father speaks fluent English, has a beard, prays and sings on the balcony on warmer days so they are religious. Nothing wrong with that. In fact I find it beautiful how passionate he is about his culture and I see it as an opportunity to learn. His wife wears a niqab and I see nothing wrong with that either. It actually adds to the diversity of our neighbourhood. I made small talk with the father and tried to help him adjust to life in Toronto.
Everything was going fine until one day I met his wife alone in the elevator while she was bringing up the laundry. Being naturally friendly, helpful and Canadian, I tried to make small talk and ask her how she found life in Canada. Her responses were one word answers and she looked down when answering me. She rushed out of the elevator upon seeing her husband and the next day he confronted me as to why I was talking to his wife. I, politely, explained, in order to avoid any cultural misunderstandings, that I was not trying to make a move on his wife but was just trying to make her feel welcome as a new Canadian. He told me that it's irrelevant what I was saying and that I am not allowed to talk to his wife. To avoid any further misunderstanding I made myself clear that I didn't mean any disrespect but was just trying to be polite after which he told me that no man is allowed to talk to his wife. I told him that if his wife doesn't wish to speak to me or any other man because of religious reasons, I can respect that as it's part of our respect for diversity in Canada but that he cannot by force prevent his wife from speaking to other men under Canadian law because part of being Canadian is the belief in equality of men and women. He then laughed at me and said that he doesn't care what some "weak Canadian law" says and that it's the law of Allah that matters and that his wife is his and nobody else's.
I was at first mesmerized and angry but then I realized that part of me being judgment was because of my white privilege. I had the privilege of growing up in Canada and he didn't so I was thinking how I can show him that men and women are equal. What came out of his mouth was a shock and it sounded like something a Stephen Harper conservative would say and not a true Muslim. I don't know any other Syrian refugees but it goes without saying that the great majority of them share our Canadian values and believe in the equality of men and women but I feel that the system has failed this one particular individual. My question is: what did we do wrong as Canadians for him to have such warped views about women? He is a new Canadian so how can we show him that men and women are equal?
I talked about this with my wife and she was furious at him saying that he shouldn't be in this country if he thinks women are a piece of property. Now my wife is a liberal like I am but I feel that this view of hers was a bit bigoted. Had she said that about a white male that grew up in Canada I would agree with her but since this man didn't have the privilege of growing up here but grew up elsewhere, I would say that we need to take his views into the context of the situation. My wife was also furious at me for not supporting her on this but I feel that we need to make new Canadians feel welcome regardless of what their upbringing were like. Any suggestions?
A family from Syria moved into our building after they were transferred from Nova Scotia. The father speaks fluent English, has a beard, prays and sings on the balcony on warmer days so they are religious. Nothing wrong with that. In fact I find it beautiful how passionate he is about his culture and I see it as an opportunity to learn. His wife wears a niqab and I see nothing wrong with that either. It actually adds to the diversity of our neighbourhood. I made small talk with the father and tried to help him adjust to life in Toronto.
Everything was going fine until one day I met his wife alone in the elevator while she was bringing up the laundry. Being naturally friendly, helpful and Canadian, I tried to make small talk and ask her how she found life in Canada. Her responses were one word answers and she looked down when answering me. She rushed out of the elevator upon seeing her husband and the next day he confronted me as to why I was talking to his wife. I, politely, explained, in order to avoid any cultural misunderstandings, that I was not trying to make a move on his wife but was just trying to make her feel welcome as a new Canadian. He told me that it's irrelevant what I was saying and that I am not allowed to talk to his wife. To avoid any further misunderstanding I made myself clear that I didn't mean any disrespect but was just trying to be polite after which he told me that no man is allowed to talk to his wife. I told him that if his wife doesn't wish to speak to me or any other man because of religious reasons, I can respect that as it's part of our respect for diversity in Canada but that he cannot by force prevent his wife from speaking to other men under Canadian law because part of being Canadian is the belief in equality of men and women. He then laughed at me and said that he doesn't care what some "weak Canadian law" says and that it's the law of Allah that matters and that his wife is his and nobody else's.
I was at first mesmerized and angry but then I realized that part of me being judgment was because of my white privilege. I had the privilege of growing up in Canada and he didn't so I was thinking how I can show him that men and women are equal. What came out of his mouth was a shock and it sounded like something a Stephen Harper conservative would say and not a true Muslim. I don't know any other Syrian refugees but it goes without saying that the great majority of them share our Canadian values and believe in the equality of men and women but I feel that the system has failed this one particular individual. My question is: what did we do wrong as Canadians for him to have such warped views about women? He is a new Canadian so how can we show him that men and women are equal?
I talked about this with my wife and she was furious at him saying that he shouldn't be in this country if he thinks women are a piece of property. Now my wife is a liberal like I am but I feel that this view of hers was a bit bigoted. Had she said that about a white male that grew up in Canada I would agree with her but since this man didn't have the privilege of growing up here but grew up elsewhere, I would say that we need to take his views into the context of the situation. My wife was also furious at me for not supporting her on this but I feel that we need to make new Canadians feel welcome regardless of what their upbringing were like. Any suggestions?