How to Make Friends In Toronto?

[dt_toronto_geek]

Isn't Urban Toronto exactly the kind of place you guys are telling people to make new friends?

Who suggested that?

Getting out into the real world and socializing the "old fashioned way" by getting involved with something in the community (endless possibilities here) is a great way to meet new people. Meeting people and developing friendships through work is sometimes an option for some people though it may come with some restrictions if you work for a larger company. Meeting people through friends by going out for drinks, taking in local events, get togethers and such can also prove successful. It's really not that hard, it actually comes quite naturally but I think some people have lost their way in the last decade or so with the explosion of social sites on the Internet. Further, I think some people have forgot (or young people never fully learned) how to meet people and develop meaningful, lasting relationships in the offline world.

 

[Cooool]

Maybe I could take up clubbing or bar hopping? I'm sure if I go to enough places, I could meet some cool people. I'd like to make friends my own age, like maybe with U of T or Ryerson students.

 

[gabe]

Isn't Urban Toronto exactly the kind of place you guys are telling people to make new friends?
Have you ever tried to make a friend off of this site? It's practically impossible. I've tried. People want to remain anonymous, or have no interest in taking their online world into their real world.

Most of us are far too busy! Between the discussions on cladding and building skyscrapers out of Lego who has time for the real world ?

 

[Dilla]

Maybe I could take up clubbing or bar hopping? I'm sure if I go to enough places, I could meet some cool people. I'd like to make friends my own age, like maybe with U of T or Ryerson students.

That can work. I knew two people who literally for years of their lives they went out and made new friends every weekend barhopping and going to loft parties and the like. I think they must have had a gift (and a lot to drink), but they did it. I'd hate to say it, but meeting people when they're drunk is a lot easier.

If I can recommended something if you're going to pursue this one. Small spaces and unfamiliar faces. That is, don't go anywhere too big, and try and find places where there's more likely that everyone won't know each other. If you have success at a place, go back. After taking to the same people of couple of times, it should be too difficult to swtich over to "hey, we should meet up outside of this bar/club/jail cell/ sometime". Just wait until they say "I really want to see (insert movie/concert here)" and say, "hey i'm going to see that on Tuesday, we should meet up."

Ironically, it's oft true that the bigger the city is, the more isolating it can be. But you're young, which is a big leg up.

 

[Cooool]

The problem is it's hard to know what places to hit up and which ones aren't my scene. And I really hate to sound cheap, but that sort of lifestyle is so expensive.

Where do young, student types hang out in Toronto?

 

[Anth]

As recommended earlier, why not try some casual co-ed sport or hobby with Mississauga Rec, the Mississauga SSC or the Toronto SSC? It doesn't have to be something hyper-competitive, especially if you aren't the athletic type. You can even play dodgeball! You'll seriously make friends in no time and people often go out for drinks after.

Also, if you're into TFC at all I'd highly recommend joining one of the supporters groups. All of them are very welcoming, friendly and include people from all over the world and all walks of life.

 

[fiendishlibrarian]

Isn't Urban Toronto exactly the kind of place you guys are telling people to make new friends?
Have you ever tried to make a friend off of this site? It's practically impossible. I've tried. People want to remain anonymous, or have no interest in taking their online world into their real world.

Years ago when the membership of this forum could be counted in the *very* low triple digits there were semi-regular pub gatherings of some of the regulars here (there may still be photos of the meets in the archives). But that sort of thing hasn't been proposed in at least five or six years (I've been here since '02). I *think* there was also an informal gay group that met regularly (shocker/building babel, interchange, archivist, future mayor, etc.).

 

[doady]

I just play MTG at tournaments - lots of opportunity to meet young people and socialize. But yeah, making a friend is harder than finding a date it seems.

 

[urbandreamer]

Join pof. Meet girls not to date but to become friends with. Worked for me just fine. Then usually one of their friends or fof's I end up dating.

 

[Eug]

Isn't Urban Toronto exactly the kind of place you guys are telling people to make new friends?
Have you ever tried to make a friend off of this site? It's practically impossible. I've tried. People want to remain anonymous, or have no interest in taking their online world into their real world.

Can i b ur friend?

 

[khris]

Somehow, I don't think you're being serious at all.

 

[Thanos]

Many 20somethings don't tend to go to specific places alone unless they are sure that a friend will be there.
How come urban toronto stopped having these meets?

 

[thepatrickblack]

You have to be a little bit bold in a big city. City people are not unfriendly, there is just a lot happening around them and they have to cut out some of it to stay sane. Try visiting some highly social areas. Snakes and Lattes is a really popular coffee and board game restaurant. Make ONE friend and go. I bet you two could easily find another lonely pair to to play games with. Good luck!

 

[TrickyRicky]

This may sound a bit harsh but the capacity to be social and make friends is 100 percent in your own head. To suggest that an externality like where you live matters is part of the problem not part of the solution.

Luckly you are not alone. Most people feel the same way beause I believe we were never really designed to be social with strangers in the first place. We were designed to interact with the people we were stuck with around us not to search out people to be stuck around us with.

So ultimately the solution is to behave in such a way as to be stuck around with people. That's why organized gatherings of people work so well. People get stuck around each other at classes and schools, on sport teams, at events, at work etc.

The other issue is what kind of experience are you offering other people? Like are you interesting, fun, loyal, reliable, dramatic etc. Friendship requires mutual and continuous investment, meaning you can't have if you do not give in return.

Ultimately the where, city / location and other externalites don't matter if you don't have the you figured out. If you figure that out it is impossible to be in any scenerio where you would have trouble finding friends.

 

[jeff316]

This may sound a bit harsh but the capacity to be social and make friends is 100 percent in your own head. To suggest that an externality like where you live matters is part of the problem not part of the solution.

Yes, the capacity to be social and make friends is largely in one's head.

However, the externalities affect the opportunities one has to exercise that capacity and influence how/when/where that capacity is used.