fieras
Banned
I love 24, but I thought this was kind of weak.
The thing was, I was all pumped because they said they were finally going to take Jack Bauer overseas. For years we've been sitting around watching CTU foil annual terror plots, all centered, for some reason, around Los Angeles. The most interesting parts of the storylines have involved Bauer's interactions with terrorists and foreign agents. It was cool when he double-crossed the German spy, played by the dude who plays Desmond on Lost. It was sweet when he got caught by the Chinese and tortured overseas, but managed not to break. The great thing about Jack Bauer is that he's American -- possibly the greatest American who's ever lived -- and every time he goes up against a competitor, foreign or domestic, he wins. He shoots Russian diplomats in the knees. He executes killers before they go to trial and uses their severed heads as bargaining chips. He's what Chuck Norris wishes he could have been.
So in the commercials, you see Bauer in Africa with an AK-47, ready to mete out justice on an enemy that may actually be worth fighting -- not Dennis Hopper with an unbelievably bad Serbian accent, or that guy from Harold and Kumar whose terrorists exploits couldn't be taken seriously due to his previous involvement in goofy comedies. He's fighting real Bad Guys -- dudes who build armies of child soldiers. At least, that's what we think.
But as the story unfolds -- really slowly, especially for a "two-hour television event" -- Jack Bauer is indeed overseas, playing the part of the tortured soul who goes missionary to atone for his past misdeeds. But of course, the US government is out to get him, and instead of seeing Jack getting all crazy with the AK -- he uses it for maybe half a minute -- we waste half our time in Washington watching Curly Bill from Tombstone hand the reins of the presidency to some pumpkin-headed lady who's supposed to be like Hillary Clinton, and we find that the baddies in Africa are just minibosses that Jack will have to overcome before dealing next season with the real bad guy -- Jon Voight.
Jon Voight.
I'll give 24 one last chance next season -- I say this every season -- and if they manage to get Bauer out of LA and do something halfway cool -- yeah, I know Tony Almeida turns out to be alive, but the theme of dead protagonists coming back to life is one that has already been thoroughly explored by the show, and I'm going to need something way cooler to keep me around. I'd have been happy if they'd just lengthened the plot of "Redemption" to a full season and kept Bauer in Africa while the hyper-intense guys with caricaturistic deep voices and exaggerated African accents staged their overthrow of the fictional state of Sambala, or Shambhala, or Karbala, or Impala, or Valhalla, or whatever they wanted to call it. Then Bauer could fight behind enemy lines and singlehandedly restore power to the legitimate government in an orgy of, I don't know, explosions and stuff.
The thing was, I was all pumped because they said they were finally going to take Jack Bauer overseas. For years we've been sitting around watching CTU foil annual terror plots, all centered, for some reason, around Los Angeles. The most interesting parts of the storylines have involved Bauer's interactions with terrorists and foreign agents. It was cool when he double-crossed the German spy, played by the dude who plays Desmond on Lost. It was sweet when he got caught by the Chinese and tortured overseas, but managed not to break. The great thing about Jack Bauer is that he's American -- possibly the greatest American who's ever lived -- and every time he goes up against a competitor, foreign or domestic, he wins. He shoots Russian diplomats in the knees. He executes killers before they go to trial and uses their severed heads as bargaining chips. He's what Chuck Norris wishes he could have been.
So in the commercials, you see Bauer in Africa with an AK-47, ready to mete out justice on an enemy that may actually be worth fighting -- not Dennis Hopper with an unbelievably bad Serbian accent, or that guy from Harold and Kumar whose terrorists exploits couldn't be taken seriously due to his previous involvement in goofy comedies. He's fighting real Bad Guys -- dudes who build armies of child soldiers. At least, that's what we think.
But as the story unfolds -- really slowly, especially for a "two-hour television event" -- Jack Bauer is indeed overseas, playing the part of the tortured soul who goes missionary to atone for his past misdeeds. But of course, the US government is out to get him, and instead of seeing Jack getting all crazy with the AK -- he uses it for maybe half a minute -- we waste half our time in Washington watching Curly Bill from Tombstone hand the reins of the presidency to some pumpkin-headed lady who's supposed to be like Hillary Clinton, and we find that the baddies in Africa are just minibosses that Jack will have to overcome before dealing next season with the real bad guy -- Jon Voight.
Jon Voight.
I'll give 24 one last chance next season -- I say this every season -- and if they manage to get Bauer out of LA and do something halfway cool -- yeah, I know Tony Almeida turns out to be alive, but the theme of dead protagonists coming back to life is one that has already been thoroughly explored by the show, and I'm going to need something way cooler to keep me around. I'd have been happy if they'd just lengthened the plot of "Redemption" to a full season and kept Bauer in Africa while the hyper-intense guys with caricaturistic deep voices and exaggerated African accents staged their overthrow of the fictional state of Sambala, or Shambhala, or Karbala, or Impala, or Valhalla, or whatever they wanted to call it. Then Bauer could fight behind enemy lines and singlehandedly restore power to the legitimate government in an orgy of, I don't know, explosions and stuff.
