" Now the whole earth had one language and the same words.
And as they migrated from the east, they came upon a lakefront plain in the land of Ontario and settled there.
And they said to one another, ‘Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.’ And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar.
Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a point tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.’
The Devil came up to see the city and the tower, which mortals had built.
And the Devil said, ‘Look, they are one people, these Torontonians, and they have all one language - good design; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.
Come, let us go up, and confuse their language there, so that they will not understand one another’s speech.’
So the Devil scattered NIMBYs abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city.
Therefore it was called Babel, because there the Devil confused the language of all the earth; and from there the Devil scattered NIMBYs abroad over the face of all the earth."